Thursday, 12 September 2013

Parkinson's equipment - warning! may be funny!

Things to make a Parkinson's life, erm, easier...

1.  Needle and thread with a hola hoop attached to the needle; the camel will go through the needle this time!

2. Liquid nitrogen and a hammer: instantly freeze any food and smash it into bite size pieces!

3. Prevent the inconvenience of shaving: buy skin coloured masking tape and apply to beard area; ah, that clean shaven look!

4. Real beer goggles: replicates the blurry, "everyone is so beautiful" vision you get when you are blind drunk. You look like your drunk, why not look like your drunk!

5. Fold out portable hammock for when those zzzzzzzz won't leave you alone!

6. A marching band to follow your mobility scooter, playing the Beatles song "I'm looking through you," to make sure others are aware of your existence!

7. A sign to hold up when asked the question, "how are you?": "Apart from the chronic, incurable, progressive disease, I've never felt better!"

8. A shaking platform to shake me at the exact frequency but in the opposite direction to cancel out my tremor!

9. A portable ejector seat to get me on my feet again!

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