Emotions are not good interpreters of a situation. For
example, the fear you feel is the same when you think of a scary situation, you
have a phobia and you meet the object of that phobia (e.g. a spider) or you are
being chased by an axe murderer. The differences in these situations are not
reflected in the sameness of the emotion.
However, emotions can be powerful experiences and demand you
to embrace and act upon them. If you do embrace the current emotion (e.g. fear)
you could become impaled by it. As you then fight to get out of the embrace the
more the emotion grabs you. This excludes other emotions from reaching you.
How do you prevent being led by the nose by emotion? One
possible way is by curiosity; be the observing scientist. Ask yourself, “Why am
I feeling this emotion?” or “I wonder whether another emotion or reaction is
more appropriate?” Curiosity deals with what is happening in the present, it is
open to alternative responses and as such is able to break the monopoly an
emotion has over you. To be curious requires you to give yourself permission to
question and allow the possibility that your current reaction (which is led by
emotion) may not be the best one. Curiosity doesn’t detach you from feeling
altogether but it does detach you from the grip of one emotion and opens up the
possibility of an alternative reaction.
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