If you happen to come across someone with Parkinson’s (we
are out there!) you are likely to notice the tremor and the shuffling, unsteady
walk. The symptoms you won’t see are the feelings of restricted movement, the
frustrating disobedience the body has for sufferers’ conscious will and the
subsequent feeling that you are a puppet whose strings are controlled by
Parkinson’s. You will miss the sheer mind numbing exhaustion, the feelings of
helplessness and depression, the urge to urinate every 5 minutes, the food that
gets stuck in your throat because swallowing is affected, the irresistible
sleepiness and the battle not to close yourself down in the face of all this.
What is visible is the physical impact of the disease. What
is hidden is the one-to-one dialogue a sufferer has with their Parkinson’s. The
disease can dictate the conversation or you can reassert yourself and get your
voice heard. This internal dialogue is the battleground on which the defeats and
victories against Parkinson’s are played out; it is where you can choose your
reaction, see space for yourself and live alongside your disease.
I hate the hidden symptoms which can often take you by surprise. Nor do I like ups and downs, I take the same meds each day, yet each day can be so very different. and then the longer you have had it, I have the inherited type so maybe going on forty years! ypou can get blase about it until it throws something new at you. REcently My walking has become almost nonexistant and I do not like the stares and comments I get because I ride my pavement mobiity scooter on thepavement!!!
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel, the variability of the symptoms, feeling like you are standing on shifting sands is a nightmare! I hope your symptoms improve!
ReplyDelete