Overhearing Depression

It is natural to feel sad sometimes (e.g. when you are diagnosed with Parkinson’s). But depression is different. Depression is a draining of colour from the world. It is the insidious seeping of malignant sadness and negativity until it infects and subdues your entire emotional life. I find that my depression loves to gorge on itself, like the snake that eats it own tail, to make itself stronger; negativity begets negativity. Depressive thoughts constantly try to convince you they are the only possible thoughts. They cause a narrowing of perspective that is difficult to resist until depression is all you see.

The key I found to coping with my depression is to overhear depressive thoughts as depressive and not just another thought. I use an analogy to help me visualise this: -

I am on stage reading the script my depression has written for me and sometimes I get lost in the role, reacting immediately to what the script demands of me. However, I am also in the audience watching the performance, free to critically appraise the thoughts and actions that are occurring.

Recognising you are performing the depressive role (“O, that’s a negative thought”) opens up the possibility of separating yourself from the depression and seeing a more rounded and balanced point of view. My depression can be very claustrophobic so gaining distance from the negativity is beneficial for me.