Losing what you never had

There was once a calmness in my body, a stillness I didn’t even realise was there; I saw through it like it was a transparent plastic sheet wrapped around me. That is what Parkinson’s takes away. It rips that sheet from you and exposes you to the awareness of what can be lost only after you have lost it.

Parkinson’s compels you to mourn something you didn’t know you had. You can’t hold it one last time and say goodbye; it’s like your wife divorcing you when you didn’t even realise you were married. Mourning such a loss can feel very strange!